Am I Dreaming..?

It has been said that if you follow your heart that your dreams will follow. And although it sounds cliche and pretty, more and more it is starting to become a reality for me. Never in a million years would I have ever dreamed that this is where my life would take me. To this very place, what place am I talking about? The place where I found love in a farmer from North Dakota whom I met via social media and have since been dreaming about. Dreaming about building a life with him and all things in between. A few blissful months of vacations together and having to say our goodbyes after those few blissful days was simply not going to cut it. I want a relationship with this man and let’s face it, living 1,500 miles away is not exactly a relationship. So finally, it came out. I said it.

On the same day that I had to say goodbye to him and I wrote this post, I was on my way to the airport to pick up my parents from their trip to visit friends in Oklahoma. He had just made it home and we were saying our good nights when it came out. “I can’t do this anymore. Everytime I have to say goodbye to you, it breaks my heart. We need a plan. What do you think about me moving out there?” Of course this was something we knew was coming, we had casually discussed that it was a possibility, but never before was it “a plan”. So there I was, in the car, on my way to Sacramento, planning out my future. We established a tentative plan and let me tell you, I was beaming. I couldn’t stop smiling.

Only catch… I had to let my parents in on this “plan”. Now in case you don’t know… I am the first born. I am their only daughter. I work full time at their business where I am basically considered their right hand. Needless to say, the minute we established this plan, a part of me began freaking out. But I needed a few days to mull it over. Figure out what would be the best way to “break it to them” that I would be leaving. Leaving everything I’ve ever known. To pursue a life with a farmer from North Dakota.

The week went by and every night it laid on me like a ton of bricks. Just knowing the fact that I had this “plan” and they had no idea about it literally killed me. I just wanted to blurt it out but when is the right time to say… “Oh, by the way, I am moving to North Dakota…” Ehhh… your guess is as good as mine. So I spent all week building up the courage and seeking support through many friends and family. And let me tell you, each and every one of them told me…. “Follow your heart and your dreams will follow”.

To add to it all, earlier this week, a good friend of mine wrote on passion this week. She says, “Passion is a curious thing. It drives us to do things we ordinarily wouldn’t do. We travel miles far and wide for it. Friends and family call us insane for pursuing it. And we become different but complete people because of it.” This. hit. me. hard. It was like she was talking direct to me.

That even though I would be leaving everything I’ve ever known, I have this passion, something inside me, is calling me to North Dakota. Opportunities are opening themselves up to me and life keeps validating the fact that this is right where I need to be. I am doing the things that I am meant to do in life. There is no doubt in my mind of this and I will strive towards it, no looking back.

Many have called me crazy for making these decisions, most and those that are important have supported me in my decision. And although the logical part of me has to agree with those people calling me crazy… I mean, I have never lived in the snow and I am moving to NORTH DAKOTA!? There’s that passion in me that settles that logical part. Sometimes I think when pursuing our dreams, things don’t have to make logical sense. If it feels right and your heart is in it, why not? Afterall, nobody ever said that pursuing your passions was easy! Henry David Thoreau tells us to “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you’ve imagined”. And my mind has been made up. That is exactly what I am going to do.

Now the time came where I finally built up the confidence to “spill the beans” on the plan to my parents. And seriously, I cannot even begin to explain to you the anxiety I had over this. Now this is one of those things where the perception is way more intimidating than the reality. And let me tell you, it was. So I finally let them in on the plan and it wasn’t anywhere close to as bad as I envisioned. In fact, they knew it was coming so to be quite honest, it wasn’t much of a shock to them. They are now a part of the plan as well as on board and I couldn’t be more relieved.

So what is this plan…? Well, I am moving to North Dakota! There, it’s out there for the world to see. Tentatively, my last days in California are planned for late July. But we will see how life goes.

In my previous blogpost, I said I left a piece of my heart in the prairies of North Dakota and indeed I did.  Something about ever since I left there and returned home, I haven’t felt whole. I never thought that I’d ever be leaving California that’s for sure. But the passion that I have for living here has somehow lost it’s luster compared to the dreams I’ve been dreaming about building a life with him. There’s that little piece of me that is missing, that I left back in North Dakota. And I will reclaim it when I am there for good.

Thank you so much to those of you who have encouraged me, given support when I needed it, and who believe in me and the steps I am taking in my life. I really couldn’t be making these exciting and scary decisions without the support of so many amazing, loving, and wonderful people behind me. My family, my friends, and my social media are some of the best people I could ask for. I feel so blessed that this is the life I am living. Who would have ever guessed!? Surely not I. It’s such a beautiful and inspiring story of love and following your heart. But guess what, I am the one living it! How blessed and lucky am I!? Am I dreaming..? No Jenny, this is real life. This is your life…. I still can’t believe it!

So there it is… My big news… I will leave you with one final thought and something that really hit me hard: “All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them.” – Walt Disney

Advertisements

10 responses to “Am I Dreaming..?

  1. Jenny. I’ve said it a million times and I’ll say it a million more: I am proud of you. I am excited for you. I love you, and while I don’t know Mark quite as well as I know you, seeing how happy you are makes me love him every bit as much.

    All the love and luck in the world while you blaze your trail. You guys are wonderful.

  2. Congrats to both of you! You deserve the most happiness! Here’s to a quick and easy transition!

  3. Some of your story is a similar to when I decided not to come back to the farm during my last semester of college.. I came back obviously, but it was tough to break the news at the time. Good luck to both of you!

  4. Do what makes you happy! Life is supposed to be an adventure and you can’t have an adventure without taking risks and trying new things! So go for it! Now, I’m off to juggle some flaming chainsaws… I saw it done on TV, I’m pretty sure it’s easy….

  5. Pingback: Finding Direction « kellymrivard.com·

  6. Pingback: North Dakota… Where My Dreams Are Made | [ j. l. d. ] Photography Blog·

  7. Pingback: 2012. The Year of Love. | [ j. l. d. ] Photograph Blog·

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s